Let Me Take A Selfie
by AnotherCrazyMilkshake
Summary: Romano thought his brother couldn't surprise him with his stupidness anymore. He was wrong.


**Hey everyone!**

 **This is my second fanfiction! Since english isn't my first language** **I am already** **apologizing for any mistakes you will find.**

 **I was** **really bored** **today, so I decided to just** **write something short for fun.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy!**

 **Warning:** **Romano** **. That's warning enough.**

* * *

Romano always knew that his younger brother wasn't the brightest. He also knew that he was annoying, always way to damn happy, clingy, had no respect for personal space, and liked a certain potato eating macho freak. The last one was what got to him the most.

So he really shouldn't have been surprised when they got lost on the way to one of America's houses. Really, why did he actually believe him when he heard him say, with such a certain voice, that he knew the way?

So this is how they are now in the middle of nowhere with no car, because theirs just broke down. And because of his damn non-existent luck, he forgot to bring his phone. Could it get any worse?

"Ve~It's not that bad, Fratello. It was a long time ago, since we took a walk together."

Romano just rolled his eyes in annoyance, "We were supposed to have a damn meeting like one hour ago, I had to listen to your annoying voice for two days non-stop, we got lost, our fucking car broke down, we have no cell phones, no fucking clue where to go, and are now currently in the middle of a forest with no hope in sight for survival, and you're saying it's not that bad?!"

Yeah…maybe he was a little more than annoyed, dammit!

"Ah! I'm sorry! Please don't hit me, Fratell- OW!"

Okay, scratch that, he was pissed. No scratch that again, he was always pissed. Right now he was damn furious.

Suddenly North Italy's eyes brightened, as his gaze focused on something behind his brother. He smiled widely and looked so happy and Romano was sure he would go blind from the light he radiated if he looked to long at him.

"Look!" he said, his voice held such positive emotions Romano felt like he wanted to vomit. So to not torture himself anymore, he spun around and spotted what Italy had seen behind him.

He was honestly expecting some kind of pasta factory, yes, even in the middle of a forest. If China could build a fucking china town everywhere he went, why couldn't his people do the same, dammit!

But no, it was a house. A normal house. Really.

"Wow," he answered in his I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck and why-the-hell-are-you-so-stupid voice. Yet, somehow his brother misinterpreted it into the that-is-really-amazing voice. As if he even had something like that.

"Ve~," he enthusiastically nodded his head. "Maybe they know where we are and maybe they would even help us out!"

Huh…he hadn't thought about that actually. But don't get the wrong idea! He wasn't stupid or anything, North Italy already had that job. It was just that his day was so shitty and he nearly lost all of his energy and was really tired. That's right! Also, who in the world would knock on the door of a house that stood alone somewhere in the middle of the woods?! Not that he was scared or anything! Romano is too badass for that.

"Wait…why do you look so happy about that anyways? Didn't you say you liked taking a walk with me or something?" his eyes narrowed dangerously and he glared at the brunette in front of him.

"Ve~…," just like that Italy started to walk towards the damn, probably haunted house, not looking at his fuming older brother.

"CHIGI! You damn bastard!"

And just like that Romano began to throw insults right and left, as he followed the younger man all the way towards the house, only calming down when they stood at the doorstep.

He turned to his little brother who looked a bit confused. Then his eyes narrowed just a tick, he bit his lower lip, titled his head to the side and put his index finger and thumb on his chin. His thinking face.

Yes, you're not the only one shocked by this. Romano often questioned if the younger even had enough brain cells to think.

And just like before North Italy's eyes brightend and he turned into a cheap imitation of the sun.

"This is America's house!" he practicality yelled in his ear. Maybe he thought that Romano wouldn't hear him, because he definitely wasn't just standing right beside him. Nope, not at all.

He waited for him to elaborate, but clearly his brother thought that he said enough, so he decided to help him. "…And why do you think that?"

"I don't think, silly. I know."

Romanos left eye twitched and he took a big calming breath, counted to ten, like Spain always advised, and tried to be a good older brother, before talking again, "and how do you _know_ that?"

"Because I do."

Fuck Spain! Fuck the whole 'good older brother' bullshit! Romano's blood boiled in his veins and he was extreamly happy imagining his brother burning to ashes, as he happily danced on his grave, all the while eating a tomato. So he kicked him. Hard. In the shin.

"BASTARD! Don't play smartass with me! That's not even possible with your brain! I would say something went wrong with evolution with you, but that can't be because I'm your fucking brother! I really think Nonno dropped you from a cliff or something, asshole! So tell me, why the fuck do you _think_ that this is America's house?!"

North Italy made his best impression of a kicked puppy and actually looked a bit teary eyed and Romano did not fucking apologize, because he felt bad after his rant, or for kicking his brother, dammit!

"Ve~! I'm sorry!" he cried out."But look! The whole house is covered in America's flag!"

That's when Romano actually *looked* at the house.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean that it's his. Maybe it's just some very patriotic person."

Italy just shrugged and rang the doorbell. Again. And again. And again. And again, and again, and again. Romano just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Looks like nobody's home. So it isn't America's after all."

"No! I'm sure it's his!"

He again had his stupid thinking face on and Romano hoped that this time he would get a good idea. Not that he actually listened to his little brother's ideas and contemplated them or something!

"Since this is America's house, he surley wouldn't mind if we found another way in, right?"

"What…?"

"I know how to pick locks!"

"You know that's legally not allowed, right? You do know that breaking into someone's house is illegal, don't you?"

"But that's America's house!"

As if that explained anything! God dammit! Now he was fucking pissed, furious, and annoyed and just so frustrated! His little brother wanted to break into a house. What if it wasn't even America's?!

…but maybe…maybe it was? Italy sometimes actually did know what he was talking about. And they did drive into these woods in search of America's house, so it had to be somewhere in this area, right?

He didn't even have enough time to agree, before the door opened. So he really knew how to pick locks? Why hadn't he known that?

Well, if he thought about it it did make sense. He often came home, locked the door and then fell asleep, even when the younger wasn't home yet. But the next day, he always woke up with Italy in the house. He should have thought about it more.

They stepped inside and it really wasn't amazing. Everything looked worn out and dull and it smelled like old people. It wasn't worth looking twice at the garbage that was supposed to be furniture.

They walked into the living room, at least he thought it was the living room, since there were somewhat green couches that stood in the middle of the room. In front of them was a little table and on that table a picture frame. He took it in his hands and then again realized that he hated his brother and that he would never listen to him again.

There was a picture of an elderly woman together with a younger man and Romano really hoped that he was her grandson.

But the fact was, that he never saw these people and that meant that this officially wasn't America's house.

He cursed loudly and from the sheepish look on Italy's face he must've realized his mistake too.

This was really not his day and he felt his blood run cold, as he heard voices. From the front door. Voices!

He quickly grapped his brother's arm and dragged him to the back exit and he definitely didn't have to search for that one…

So there they stood in the middle of the entrance as the door opened.

…so maybe he did have to search for it, okay?!

There stood the eldery woman he saw from the picture and another eldery man. Their eyes were widened in shock and they just stood there staring at each other.

Suddenly the eldery women glared at them."Thieves!"

She began to yell loudly and made weird gestures with her hands.

Romano always called himself a gentleman when it came to ladies. But right now he was really contemplating kicking the eldery woman. Not that he actually would. He sometimes just had passing thoughts, dammit!

So again he grapped his brothers arm and ran towards the exit. He 'gently' shoved the woman aside and ran and ran and ran. He didn't even know where.  
His mind was clouded with fea-worry! It was just worry that they would call the police!

So after a while they stopped and fell on their knees, breathing hard. They sat there like this for a god five minutes, before he punched Italy's arm. Hard.

"This is all your fault, bastard!"

"Ve~Sorry, Fratello."

Romano actually felt a bit sorry right now. It wasn't really only Italy's fault that they broke into a house and were caught. Though it was mostly his damn brothers fault! And it coulnd't get worse from here anymore.

"Ugh! I wish I at least had my cell phone!"

In the next six minutes shit went down. His brother made his annoying thinking face again, before pulling out a cell phone. A. Damn. Cell. Phone!  
He spent his time wisely and hit him again and yelled even more.

But after that he was so glad that they had a phone and signal! So he told Italy to find out where they are.

"Wait! Let me take a selfie!"

So he did. With Romano on it. He was completely caught off guard. But at least he still looked good on it….not that it matters!

"Okay, wow, a selfie, fan-fucking-tastic! Now find our way out."

"No problem!"

No problem. No problem he said. _No fucking problem!_

He cursed himself, because it just got a lot worse and he just knew he jinxed it!

Never again in his entire life would he go somewhere together with Italy. Never again would he trust him with something. And he still wonders how he managed to be surprised by the next turn of events. Maybe because he thought that his brother couldn't be THAT STUPID?!

"You posted it online…"

Indeed he had. He posted their fucking selfie ONLINE in the area where they just BROKE into a house and were caught, with the caption 'Where are we?'

He was past furious and he couldn't even find the right words to say something. He felt angrier than he ever had in his whole life and he was sure he would go mad right there, right now. Because the little bastard that somehow was his brother ruined his entire day by getting them lost, getting them to BREAK INTO A FUCKING HOUSE, and then posting a selfie online in hope that others could help them find a way out of the woods? With a picture?! JUST AFTER THEY BROKE INTO A HOUSE?!

He was so done and he promised that after they got out, he wouldn't allow North Italy to eat pasta for an entire month. Maybe two. As he would make the most delicious pasta he had ever tasted, like a badass, and eat it in front of him.

Revenge will taste fucking delicious!


End file.
